this poem will not be about death.

if you want to see the video, click this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g0P2nMVOnc

 

I told myself this poem will not be about death/

It won’t be about how it snatches souls in the dead of night, or how it only leaves the cold emptiness inside my chest/

It won’t be about how it wasn’t even at night, so then I guess it won’t be about that day/

It won’t be about my father’s stiff shoulders/

It won’t be about my mother’s cries, I promise you it won’t be about her cries, it won’t be about her cries/

 

It won’t be about the dying flowers by your gravestone/

Or the smiles on your parents’ faces that always come out sad/

It won’t be about your kids because if it were, I wouldn’t be able to get through a line without crying/

It won’t be about your husband, because to be honest, without you we don’t see him very often/

 

I won’t write about the funeral/

Or about sobbing into my best friend’s shoulder/

It won’t be about how I’ve tried writing this poem a million times but I can never finish it/

I won’t write about the new Harry Potter book, but Aunty Nish, you would have loved it/

It won’t be about the lady on TV that talks like you, and thinks like you, and dresses like you so goddamn much that it hurts/

It won’t be about that song, because I’ve only just stopped crying every time it comes on the radio/

It won’t be about the birthday present that’s gotten way too small, that I should probably give away, that’s still collecting dust in my closet/

 

This poem won’t be about death; I swear I won’t write about death/

I won’t write about how it’s such a shame/

Or how it’s been two years, or how no one can believe it’s been two years/

I won’t write about that stupid look I get when I say I lost someone to cancer/

I won’t write about any of the pitiful looks, or the “stay strong”s or the “so sorry for your loss”es/

I won’t write about how everyone tries so hard to fill your empty place, but they never get close/

 

I won’t write about death, because I write about things that I feel passionately about, and I don’t feel anything about death/

Because I’m fine, thank you very much, I’m just perfectly fine/

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