a letter to any and every person who has ever made me feel like crap: a spoken word poem

watch me perform this poem here!


oh, look at that, you’re still alive and well/

that’s just great, just perfectly swell/

the karma hasn’t got to yet, don’t worry it should/

i love to stay up late, thinking about how it could – JUST KIDDING!/

i do believe in tit for tat/

but there’s no way i could ever do that/

i’ll pray for you sometimes, just a little bit/

because honey, god knows you need it/

was that rude? i didn’t mean to sound offensive/

it’s just that people like you often leave me pensive/

i just wonder how it feels to crush someone’s heart/

or how did you become like that for a start/

how does someone become…

a mean, rude, insufferable idiot/

covering up insults, trying to be the wittiest/

pointing out flaws, letting the whole world know/

opening up scars, putting them on for show/

your desire to hurt feeling is certainly insatiable/

and what gives you the right, i find it unfathomable/

you’re a jerk, a monster, the devil in disguise/

trust me, i can see the evil in your eyes/

you’re the kind of person that makes me look up words that rhyme with horrible/

also, side note, why doesn’t anything rhyme with horrible/

you are like every disney movie villain coming to life at once/

ruining lives within a span of months/

like a hunter, where’s your mom bambi, oh no she’s dead/

hey nemo, where’s yours, can’t see where she went/

poor unfortunate soul, can’t get the guy/

watch out cindy, you’re running out of time/

gaston, gaston, killer of the beast/

kill all the indians, let’s have a feast/

oh no, you’re a girl, can’t defeat the huns/

so sorry anna, but you’re not the one/

i’m sorry, i’m rambling aren’t i/

i do that when i’m nervous, which is most of the time/

like a horse in a race, my mouth is running too fast/

bet on me for sure, the finish line i’ve passed/

i apologize, i’m getting off track/

let me slow down, i’ll take a step back/

dear any and every person who has ever made me feel like crap, THANK YOU/

thank you for everything you did/

you made me strong, i’m glad i didn’t quit/

because imagine if you hadn’t, you know, treat me like scat/

i could have turned out like you, no one would have wanted that/

and you’ve made me realize how grateful i am/

i mean, if you really think about it, i could have…

been hit by a train or a bus or a car/

drowned in a huge, large bucket of tar/

got my hand stuck in a car door/

tripped over my feet and fell on the floor/

well, that’s happened before/

but that’s not the point/

i could have gotten surgery or cracked a joint/

i could move to america which trump is in/

that’s definitely not a situation i would like to be in/

i could’ve been stung by a wasp or a hornet or a bee/

i’ve never been stung before, isn’t that funny/

i’m sorry, i’m doing it again, aren’t i/

it’s been a long letter, how time can fly/

i guess the whole time, i’ve been trying to say/

even though i hate you in every single way/

i wish you the best, i really do/

but it’s time for me to start anew/

so as i leave you behind, i wish you farewell/

i hope you enjoy your future stay in hell/

Screen Shot 2017-03-27 at 1.01.43 PM


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